


Fear of Flying

by This_ape_writes



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Academy Era, Fear of Flying, Friendship, M/M, Mentions of Alcohol Abuse, Phobias
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 06:57:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8435884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/This_ape_writes/pseuds/This_ape_writes
Summary: Bones decides to take matters into his own hands and just get over this damn fear of flying already.





	

One drink. Come on just one little drink. You won't be drunk it will just take the edge off. We can go grab a nice cold shot of whisky and make our way back here before the shuttle even leaves! 

His jaw clenched so tight he could HEAR the pressure in his head as Leonard gripped the seats and he threw some nasty curse words to his own enabling FUCKING head! 

No! No drinking. Come on. 

He was running low on time. He only had a few more months tops to get over this damn fear. He was going to have to learn to do this sober, and fast. 

He could do this. 

He could. 

Leonards eyes were still closed but he willed his jaw to relax a little bit and he tried to breathe relaxing deep breaths and mentally will his heart to calm down. 

He wasn't having much luck. 

Hell of a way to spend his day off. 

But at least it wasn't peak commuting hours so the shuttle was almost empty. So there wouldn't be much of an audience when he completely freaked out and started to scream to turn this damn thing around before they even had the chance to crest over the Golden Gate. 

So at least he had that going for him. 

Ok, now he was starting to shake. 

Fantastic. 

Thanks autonomic stress response for being just SUPER helpful right now. 

No come on deep breath, he thought. He really did try this time to take in as deep of a breath as he could and he let it out in a slow hiss. 

He was going to do this. 

With his eyes closed he was a little hyper aware of the sounds around him, maybe if he focused on that it would distract him. 

He could hear the rush of traffic through the open door over his left shoulder as well as people on the walk way outside passing by. 

A woman and her friend were sitting to the back of the shuttle excitedly talking about their last test of the day. They must be from the Academy too but he wasn't about to open his eyes and see if he recognized them. 

He could hear the scruff scruff scruff scruff scruff sound the knee of his jeans made as his bouncing right leg brushed against his stationary left. 

He could hear the footsteps of another passenger climbing through the open door and he wondered how much longer he was going to have to endure this before they would just take off already. 

The newest passenger whispered an 'excuse me' to the two academy girls and he could hear the scritching sound of their shoes as they shuffled sideways to this side of the shuttle. 

Dammit there were plenty of empty seats but the newest occupant sat in the chair right next to him and he could feel as the strangers fingers brushed against his hip to click their restraint in place. 

Really? 

Whatever happened to personal space?? 

Leonards' clenched jaw was coming back and he was just about to open his mouth and try to be as civil he could when asking if they wouldn't mind finding a different place to sit please, when the new arrival spoke. 

"Bones what are you doing?" 

Dammit. 

It would have been easier if it had been a stranger invading his space. It really would have. 

"Jim leave me alone," he growled in his most threatening tone. 

Leonard peeled his eyes open and glared at the smiling passive face of his irritating best friend for good measure hoping that together his tone and his face would get his point across and the younger man would leave. 

It didn't. 

Jim just sat and smiled and it was all Leonard could do to keep himself from punching him. 

"No, I...I think I'll stay and I would like you to answer my question if that's alright. What on earth are you doing?" Jim asked again. 

Leonard growled to himself and closed his eyes again. 

"Well I gotta get used to this one way or another don't I?" he said. "I can't very well be drunk every day on a ship and still keep my job. I gotta get over this so please just leave and let me do this alone, please?" Leonard begged but it was no use. He could hear his friend snort in amusement as he relaxed into his seat next to him. 

"Nah. I think I'm gonna stay," he said. 

"Asshole," Leonard ground out. He would never willingly admit that the idea of having Jim next to him was making him relax just a tad, but he was kinda grateful that it was. Not that it was helping that much but anything short of a full panic attack right now was a win. 

"So where are we going?" Jim asked. 

"Oakland and back," Leonard said. It was the shortest shuttle ride there was around San Francisco. He'd done his research. Fifteen minutes round trip tops and most of that was the stop and reloading in Oakland on the safe solid ground. 

Baby steps. 

"Ok good," his friends voice was soft and low. 

"I wish we'd just take off already," Leonard muttered as his heart rate continued to rise. He could hear it thudding in his ears and he took another deep breath that didn't do a damn bit of good. 

"We will," Jim murmured. "Departure time says three. That's in just a few minutes. Take a few more deep breaths." Leonard nodded and tried to do just that. "You know it's funny. I don't remember you getting a degree as a psychiatrist," Jim said. 

"What?" Leonard asked cracking open one eye. 

"It's just you suddenly know how to fix phobias and I didn't remember you being trained on that," Jim said as he fixed a steady gaze at him. Leonard closed his eyes again and shook his head. 

"Shut up. I just figured I'd rip the bandaid off and just desensitize myself," Leonard said. 

"Which may or may not help," Jim said. 

"It's worth a shot," Leonard said. 

"Not if it makes it worse," Jim said. 

"I don't think that's possible," Leonard admitted. 

"God you're stubborn," Jim said. 

"Oh yeah?" Leonard said, snapping one eye open again and fixing it on Jim. "Pot, Kettle. Kettle, Pot," Leonard snapped. That earned a chuckle from his friend but Leonard was in no mood to smile back. He was too freaked out. He swallowed and closed his eye again as he leaned his head back against the seat and let his knee bounce higher and with more steam. He just wanted this to be done. 

"I don't need your help," Leonard growled after a few minutes of silence pass by. 

"Yeah well, too bad," Jim said in a distracted voice as he stretched to glance at something behind his shoulder and then settled back down. "Ok the pilot just walked by so he's gonna secure the doors here in a second and then we'll be off." 

Shit. That's not good news. 

Adrenaline spiked in Leonard's system and his hands went cold with sudden perspiration. 

Jim could sense the change in his best friend and he focused back on helping him relax. 

"Ok Bones, breathe. You're gonna be just fine." 

It's not helping. Body wracking shivers started making their way through his whole body now. Like his body was way too cold and knowing that panic can disrupt the bodies temperature regulating that might actually be the case. 

"I can't do this. I can't do this," Leonard muttered as his breathing sped up at a ragged, irregular pace. His heart was really pounding in his head now and his fingertips were starting to buzz and prickle. 

He was going to pass out. 

"Hey come on. You CAN do this. Here, give me your hand," Jim said. 

"No way," Leonard spit out, his eyes flicking up to the ceiling of the shuttle as he noticed the dark swirling sparkles of impending unconsciousness licking at the edge of his vision. Jim's voice dropped down both in volume and tone and he leaned in closer. 

"Leonard Horatio McCoy give me your hand right now before I count to three or so help me God I'll make you sorry you were born," Jim growled through clenched teeth. "One. Two..." Leonard's eyes jerked over to the hand Jim was holding out and he offered up his own hand to his friend before he really consciously realized what he was doing. Jim beamed over at him as he wrapped both of his warm hands around Leonard's cold and clammy one and Leonard let out a shaky breath. 

"Jesus. Using my full name was just dirty pool," he grumbled. "It was like I was a little kid in serious trouble with my Mama. What were you gonna do at three?" He asked genuinely curious. Jim shrugs. 

"I don't know. I hadn't thought it through. It was kind of an idle threat," he said. Leonard tried to half heartedly pull his hand away at that admission but Jim wouldn't let him budge. "It's ok just relax." Leonard realized with a jolt that he had somehow missed the doors closing on the shuttle and had missed the call for departure as well. They were already hovering as they got ready to leave. 

"I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die," he muttered and Jim settled back in his seat as his thumb rubbed over the side of Leonard's wrist. 

"You're not gonna die. Not today. I won't let you," Jim said. 

Leo snorted. 

"Oh yeah? Who died and made you king of death?" Leo muttered. 

"My dad did," Jim said. And he says it with such blank flat conviction that for a second Leonard forgets all about himself. Holy shit. Does this kid really believe he's invincible? 

"You don't really believe that do you?" Leonard muttered. Jim frowns and glances up at him. 

"What?" He looks confused and Leonard realized Jim had no idea what he had just said out loud to him. "Bones. Come on it's a quick five minute flight. You're not gonna die. I promise," Jim said

Leonard lets it go for now and nodded as he gestured with his free hand in forward tumbling repeating circles. 

"Just keep, um, distracting me. I think that might help," Leonard admitted. 

"Yeah I can do that. So Astrobiology is your last test tomorrow right?" He asked. 

"Yeah I should be done by ten," Leonard said. 

"Awesome! I got a history one that's done at 9. We should go out after to celebrate," Jim said. 

"At ten am?" Leonard asked. 

"Yeah I didn't say get shit faced, I said celebrate. We could grab lunch or something. Sourdough bread bowl soup sounds pretty damn good," Jim said. Leonard shrugged. It did sound good. Not that his stomach was in any shape to eat at the moment but tomorrow maybe he'd feel different. 

If he made it to tomorrow. 

The shuttle decided at that moment that dipping was a good thing to do and Leonard clamped his eyes shut as he gripped on to his his friends' hand for dear life. 

"Hey it's alright we're just turning. We're probably starting to land," Jim said as he rubs his hand that's not currently being crushed to death, up and down Leonard's forearm. "Hey talk to me about summer. What are your plans," he said. Leonard took a few swallows to keep his stomach contents in their rightful place and then took a deep breath. 

"I'm gonna pick up hours at the clinic and I think I'll take a few summer classes when they start up," he said. 

"Really?" Jim asked in a voice that is way too bright and happy. 

"Yeah well I have to if I'm going to keep up with your finish in three years ambitious ass," he grumbled. Jim chuckled. 

"Yeah but you have less required hours to complete than I do," he said. 

"Perks of being old and already having a degree," Leonard muttered. 

"You're like four years older than me that's not exactly ancient," Jim said. 

"I'm five and a half years older than you kid and watch your tone with your elders," Leonard said. Jim snorted. The shuttle shook and shuttered and came to a stop and Leonard took a deep breath as he loosened his grip on Jim's hand. 

"Now all we gotta do is make it back," Jim said. 

"Or I could swim home. Swimming home sounds better," Leonard said as he tried to catch his breath. 

"The Bays' like 40 degrees and you freak out when the weather drops below 80. You'd never survive," Jim said. 

"I'll chance it and see," Leonard muttered. 

"No come on shut up. Tell me what else you're doing this summer. You going home at all?" Jim asked. 

"Home?" He said not quite sure where he's meaning. "You mean Georgia? No. My mom is going on a cruise with several of her friends this summer so she'll be gone for a few months and my daughter is going to summer camp for the first time this year much to her annoyance so there's not much point in going there," he said. 

"Awe. She doesn't want to go to camp?" Jim asked. 

"No and she's miserable. I told her it might be fun when she called the other day but she's having none of that shit. Begged me to talk her mom outta sendin' her but you can imagine how successful that was..." Leonard said. 

"She's seven?" Jim asked. Leonard nodded. "Yeah I can see why she doesn't want to go. But you're right. She might enjoy herself once she gets there. Who knows." 

"The rational side of me says sometimes we have to do things we don't wanna," Leonard says and Jim laughs at perfect timing of that statement. "But the dad side of me just wants to swoop her up and keep her safe and tell her she doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to." 

"You're a good dad," Jim said. Leonard rolled his eyes. 

"Tell that to her mom and the restraining order she's still got," he muttered. 

"You'd never hurt her," Jim said with a cold steady voice. 

"Not intentionally, no I wouldn't. But I do drink just a tiny bit too much if you hadn't noticed," Leonard admitted in a sarcastic tone. Jim squeezed his hand that Leonard just realized he was still holding. 

"You're not drinking right now," he said. 

"No but I wanna be," Leonard admitted. The shuttle doors closed again behind them and the ground beneath them shuttered as they began to move and Leonard squeezed his eyes shut again and shook his head. "How much longer?" he asked as they lifted away from the docking bay. 

"Just a few minutes tops," Jim said. "Hey. I'm proud of you for doing this," he said. 

"Oh Gee thanks," Leonard said but it came out more genuine than he had intended. 

"It's different on a star ship," Jim said. 

"And you'd know that how?" Leonard asked. 

"I ask a lot of questions to people that know alright," he said with a chuckle. "But no it's like the difference between a ferry boat and a cruise ship. On bigger vessels you can't really tell that you're moving for the most part. It feels more like you're in a big building," he said. 

Leonard frowned. It made sense but he'd never really thought of it that way before. It might be easier to convince himself he was still on solid ground. He might be able to do this after all. 

"Besides you'll be working on patients when the time comes too. It'll distract you better. And that's still easily a year away. Stop pushing yourself so hard," Jim said. 

"Are you hearing yourself when you talk at all because these are the exact kinds of things that I say to you all the time that you completely ignore," Leonard said. 

"It's easier when I'm the one dishing out advice," Jim said. 

"Yeah no shit," Leonard said. 

"Alright hang on we're almost there. You doing ok?" Jim asked. 

"I was until you asked that," Leonard said but his heart rate was slower and he no longer felt like unconsciousness was imminent. 

He really was going to do this.

"Oh hey I got the ok to transfer to your dorm room for next semester, today," Jim said. 

"You already live there against my will without me kicking your ass to the curb. Why does it matter if you get the official go ahead?" Leonard asked, through eyes that were still clamped shut. 

"Because sometimes I like to follow the rules," Jim said. 

"Since when?" Leonard asked with a snort. 

"Since I gotta impress people that can control my career is since when," Jim said. 

"Sure. Let me know how that works out. I give you to the end of the week before that all goes to hell," Leonard said. 

"Thank you. Your confidence in me is inspiring. It really is. You want to call up my mom and insult her too while you're at it?" Jim said. 

"Relax kid it's f..." but his sentence ends in a gasp as the shuttle lurches again and hisses into port with a sudden stop. "Jesus," Leonard says as he opens his eyes. He untangles his sweaty hand from his friends' clutches and quickly undoes his restraint. He stands up and realizes he might need a second first as his stomach shifts and the world goes a tiny bit black. But before he can grab something to steady himself, Jim has his arm around his waist and is dragging him to the door. 

"It's alright keep walking we can sit outside in just a second here and you can get your sea legs back," Jim said. They ducked out of the shuttle door and Jim steered them both to a nearby bench that they both collapsed into with a sigh. Jim patted his knee and then relaxed back into the bench nodding at a passerby with a flirty grin and a wink. 

"God do you ever stop?" Leonard grumbled as he dropped his head in his hand and tried to get his system back on line. 

"Nope," Jim said with another cocky grin and Leonard sighed. He soaked in the sun and the solid ground under his body and after a few minutes he felt almost normal again. 

"Hey. Thank you," he said, as he punched Jim's knee with no real force. 

"You're more than welcome," Jim said. "Are you kidding? After everything you've done for me? This was nothing. Although you are lucky that I followed you. Next time just ask." Leonard took in a deep breath as he nodded his head knowing full well he would never do any such thing. 

"Sure kid. I'll get right on that."


End file.
